Monday, April 2, 2012

Summer and Blue

“Hello.” said the boy with the blue eyes. It was raining and his brown hair ran down his face with the rainwater.
“Hi.” said the girl with the summer smile. Her hair was not running anywhere. She held a polka dot umbrella over her head and stood in its spotlight.
The boy with the blue eyes smiled, but it was a sad, February smile. “We don’t know each other, do we?” The smile turned to frost, and the summer girl watched, perplexed and teary-eyed as he turned into an ice ghost before her.
The summer girl had seen a ghost before. That’s how she knew the boy with the blue eyes was one.
She lived in an industrial-strength box in the middle of a petulant city. The sky was a perplexing shade of brown and the people there were all little silent-movie black-and-white executives. They wore combed hair, conservative ties and carried briefcases with locks on them. The reason they had locks on the their briefcases was that they carried weeks of July and August, packaged in dandelion fluff and wishes, in them.
Summer is very heavy.
Every evening at the very same time, in the very same way, the executives would sit down at their mouldering kitchen tables with a glass of strong autumn in one hand and their briefcase in the other and they would open them and smell their summer weeks and look at the yellow sun in a briefcase where it doesn’t need to shine except to keep awake.
The girl with the summer smile had always been told she was born at that time of day and when she had made her first sound – a self-conscious hiccup – she had accidentally swallowed a sunbeam and that it was always trying to run away when she smiled.
In reality, the reason she smiled like summer is that when she had first got her briefcase full of July and August, she had looked at the sun so often she had begun to turn into summer itself. When the others found out, they put her in a very industrial little box house and told her about the ritual of seeing summer only once a night.
So she listened and met the ghost boy in the wallpaper.
He was translucent with tiny teeth and a mass of hair. “Hello.” he said as he rose from the oily industrial wallpaper.
She was still too young to run away from either ghosts or strange boys.
She was not afraid of him.
So they became friends until he left her to go to the capacious attic where he turned into a pile of bones with a heartbeat.
She cried.
When she could come to her senses and abandon the drudgery of walking under a brown sky with a briefcase, she climbed the cobwebs to the attic, and, stifling the Niagara Falls inside her lungs, she found the bones and embraced them for she embraced the ghost boy’s memory. She tripped on a wooden puppet on the way down.
She grew to despise both attics and puppets.
Standing here in the rain looking at the blue-eyed boy made of ice, she was reminded unpleasantly of the ghost boy’s heap of bones in the attic.
She lowered her eyebrows. “I defy you, Death.” she said to the February clouds. “I know you mean harm only and I see where caring got me last time.”
She turned from the boy with blue eyes and the sound of her shoes was like rain. And rain was raining. And the boy was making noises silently, and his eyes were blue, and his cheeks were running blue and his chin was raining blue and he was crying and there was rain. He was unmoved still – she knew because she heard no footsteps behind her – but he was blue with ice and blue with rain and blue with crying.
She looked down at the crackling sidewalk and observed her feet, made of smoke and coffee stains. She observed her transparent hands and her tears fell through her – his tears too. All of a sudden, things were plain and sunflowers grew – she was a ghost. Even less than a mouldering heap of bones piled up without a soul in an attic, she was a ghost.
Both. No wonder she had not run from the wallpaper boy. Ghosts. How could she remember the wallpaper boy, if she and the blue-eyed boy are so of smoke and ice. There is no marriage of fire and water. There is no love in ghosts.
And the blue-eyed boy’s tears met hers and they turned to blood and the blood ran off them. She turned around as he turns toward her and their blood vapor hands meet.
Blood turns to water and they fall into stars. They are alive and summer meets blue and we call it Love.

Saturday, November 5, 2011

Walk My Love

Siuil, siuil, siuil a run
Siuil go sochair agus siuil go ciuin
Siuil go doras agus ealaigh lion
Is go dte tu mo mhuirnin slan

Walk, my love
Run, my love
I have found your heart, my love
Hold now -

Among the reeds the tusks of pigs
I'm picking up pearls thrown
[At me I'm the dirty girl
Cleaning laundry hang me up to dry]
Selling my bejeweld soul
Selling my windswept mind
Selling myself to dirty tricks
dirty work dirty men and egrets

Walk, my love
Run, my love
I have found your heart, my love
Hold now -

In the muck where algae
Is crawling up my arms
My skirt eaten by frogs swallowed
I Am Bare
My skin crawls and would you stop looking at me
[They're all dirty boys and girls
That's why they laugh at my nakedness
I'm burning put out the fire boys]
They cry laugh turn their backs
My hands grasp a sword of bronze

Walk, my love
Run, my love
I have found your heart, my love
Hold now -

Cutting away my skin
I bleed
My skin falls off
I cut further
My muscle falls away
I cut further
My bones clatter down
I cut further
Just my heart now, my love
It still beats. I am still alive.
The battle is against me
And against the frogs
[I'm a dirty heart
But I am a little fighter
I promised my children I'd never]

Walk, my love
Run, my love
I have found your heart, my love
Hold now -

Can't you see I've done this killing
For love?
Dead frogs and boneless hearts
For love
Oh failure
Sweet transparency
What was I supposed to do?
Love all over our bodies
I think I've always loved you.
Wherever I'm with you.

Walk, my love
Run, my love
I have found your heart, my love
Hold now.

Friday, October 14, 2011

White Bird

White Bird

Once upon a time, there was a little bird. All of white, she dressed herself in the morning and the songs of half-forgotten cemeteries, all crying out. She was a very young little bird, her downy feathers not quite finding flight. That didn’t stop her from believing that the sky could not contain her joy.

“I only know that when you play with Thelma, you always get the worst of it. That is why I say, be careful.” said Mother.

The little white bird flew along the lines of the trees. She crossed them like barbed wire and landed among the wild yellow lilies. Each one grasped at her with their feline paws and, among them, she knew she had a home. But the joy of the sky was still uncontainable, and something inside of her cried out that there had to be more than this. The lilies wiped their mouths with their sleeves and turned to devour another bite of her tail.

And Max, the king of all wild things, was lonely and wanted to be where someone loved him best of all.
And from all across the world, Max smelled good things to eat, and so he gave up being king of where the wild things are. But the wild things cried, “Oh, please don’t go! We’ll eat you up! We love you so!”
But Max said, “No.” And he climbed aboard his private boat…

White birds
are
harder to
chew
than
wolves are

You are not a hen. You are not a kitten. You are not a cow. You are not a car, or a plane, or a Snort. You are a bird, and you are my mother.

The white bird couldn’t escape the gnawing grip of the tiger lilies. Her wings, now clipped by their maws, were tainted red by their bloodstained teeth. Her tail was caught among the green leaves. No one could see her any longer. But reality set in and the traps were broken. The sunrise gobbled up the night and she didn’t want to leave the warm embrace of the bloodied flowers…

Once upon a time, there was a princess –
“Was the princess you?
- and she fell in love –
“Was it hard to do?”
- it was very easy!
“Was he strong and handsome?
“Was he big and tall?”
There’s no one like him, anywhere at all…

iloveyou
crytheweeds
iloveyou
crythebluebonnets
iloveyou
criesthesun
iloveyou
crythetigerlilies

“I know who you are,” the man said, “for I made you. I built the tower and set it in motion. I planted the meadow, put fish in the ocean. I’ve seen you fall down in the mud and the goo. I’ve seen all you’ve done and all you will do. Here’s what you look like. Here’s how I see you. Put this in your pack and you’ll find it will free you from all of the pictures and all of the lies that others make up just to cut down your size.”

Suffocated by the words of the flowers and the desire of the skies, the white bird died…

And Max sailed back through a day, and in and out of weeks, and almost over a year to his very own room, where he found his supper waiting for him

And it was still hot.

Wings fly on.
Beating in her chest.
Maybe it’s her muscles straining to fly.
Maybe her heartbeat.
Only wild things love me,
She sings.
Until the sun
Eats her up
In his enthusiasm to see her
And the joy of the sky
Embraces a
White hand.

{Featuring selections from
A Bargain for Frances, by Russel Hoban
Where the Wild Things Are, by Maurice Sendak
Are You My Mother?, by P.D. Eastman
The Disney classic, Snow White
A Snoodle’s Tale, by Phil Vischer
Original piece, “White Bird” by Catey Yuen}

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Two Poems on One Day (Two/ little bits and pieces)

Two

Two planes passed each other in the night
Two silent blinking heartbeats
Two longing believingly hopeful lights
A pilot stops to find a star to eat
Two planes and no delight

Two fireflies passed each other, full of fright
They blink, they cover their mouths
The moon's fear is far too bright
They fall to the ground, careful not to arouse
Two fireflies would never find a might

Two yellow-spiced winds passed each other on the right
Briefly they intoxicate their own poisons
They vomit up their hearing and sight
They turn their blind eyes from wish and reason
Two yellow-spiced winds are always a fight

Two white birds passed each other in flight
Both too tired to want or demand
Their heartbeats and wings fill with breathful white
For just a moment, they hold hands
And two white birds are all quite

little bits and pieces

little bits and pieces
All of life was a map with a key
and it was torn up into
little bits and pieces

I objectify and fragment
I lust and I lose
My vision is a stained glass crackled mirror
Dropped by demons into my eyes
Who are you?
I see only long slender fingers
I hear only the squalling of your singing

I'm distressed by my love
of little bits and pieces
Whole
Half
None
I'll be the white capped head of hair
I'll blend into the green eyeliner
No one will find me
And no one will care
And we'll call the silence freedom
And we'll be free

little bits and pieces
of glass and seashells only cut my hands
but if I were invisible, I wouldn't have to worry
about the little bits and pieces
who like to follow me
I'm a mother duck, you see
And the whole of the earth is my duckling
I spit my bill on the ground
Because I'm disgusted

I peck my bony feet till they're
little bits and pieces
My eyelashes all fell out
And I lost my fingers
In the white lake
Beauty is lust
And vision is fr agmented
All is
little bits and pieces

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

drowning me

Have you seen the little rainstorm?
I put it in a jar
Swirlingly, it whispers
It is full of seaweed, the raw winds of oceanic
Mindsets (when minds are full of pufferfishwhich eat their neighbors
and refuse to see the waves above their heads asanything but
symmetry and empty seashells)
Oh how the pickled skybirds do make me swing
My hands in deathly frustration
Why is the sky so big?
Why am I a jellyfish?
Did you not promise me I would be an angelic
Jellyfish are purposeless and hideous
I am consumed by the pufferfish struggles
I am distraught by the fact
Of the ocean drowning me
drowning me
drowning me
I. am. so. confused. by. grace.
drowning me
drowning me
Lift up your heads, O ye
drowning me
drowning me
Who shall ascend the hill
drowning me
drowning me
Who is the king of glory
drowning me
drowning me
Waves sound like
drowning me
grace

Sunday, August 28, 2011

Rainbow Hair

I have pink hair
I have laughed and laughed
Life is so full of rain
My yellowed eyes are all full of
Rain and there is nothing
But rain and go away
Because no one wants you
Or your beesting whistle pipe smiling
If you touch the balloons you will
My hands are crackled and we see
Rainbows [in my hair]

Just some thoughts from stormy, hurricane-swept Pennsylvania as we had our devotional this morning. I don't think I've ever written a poem that combines concepts from My Little Pony and The Prodigal God. (Whoa! I actually gave some of the inspiration for my poem for you to know! So weird! I guess this makes it less ambiguous. -C.)

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Monologue

Hello. Does that seem stiff and formal? It kind of feels that way. Okay. Hi, it's me. I just dropped by because, well, I'm not sure. I miss you a lot. That's for sure. A whole lot. It seems like it's been years since we stayed up till three to talk about the sunset. Was that really just last week? Wow. So much has happened since then. The world has ended since then. Or, my world has.

How many years has it been since we first met? Five? Six? I don't even remember. It seems like forever. You were so young, with your nerdy little bowl cut and your cute little smile. I was probably just as young. Is that me? In that picture beside the bed? Wow. Look at me. I'm not who I was.

Remember that time when we made the blanket fort in your basement with all of the fitted sheets? We slew the dragon, plugged in the stereo, and rocked out to Mozart for three hours during the thunderstorm. Your eyes glowed like you were a nocturnal creature and your Figaro aria was spot-on. Quite the singer, you still are.

How about that time when you and I went out dancing in the rain? I felt like a princess, twirling around in my satin dress, rain making my eyelashes stand out more than any makeup. You doubted the sense of dancing in the rain at first, but with you bow tie strapped around your neck, you made a dapper Gene Kelly, singin' in the rain. I don't think either of us knew what we were doing. I know I didn't. And you looked so uncomfortable. But you were a trooper. We spun in circles and pretzels, and then you dropped me. It didn't hurt, and I'm pretty sure you did it on purpose, just to show off how you would always be there to keep me safe.

My favorite memories are still the ones from those late nights, right before... well, you know. It felt like the morning would never get here, and that God had stopped the moon right as we knew we would never be able to go to sleep. I talked about the past a lot. Rome. China. Transcendentalism. Purity. The way things used to be. You renewed my mind. We talked about the future. The way things will be, if all turns out. College. Work. Church. Missions. You. Me. And both of us. And God, of course. Lots about God.

But now, your words are silent, and your beautiful velvet eyes are shut. The future is past. All of our plans, the times that you were going to take me dancing, the times I was going to help you clean your room, the times we were going to stay up all night praying in the church cafe... all of those are gone. I watch them dissolve into the IV plugged into your arm. Your raspy breathing is almost like singing, melodic, like those blues songs we sang to your guitar in the lazy practices.

Oh, my sweet friend! I miss you!

Give me your hands. They've gone cold.

Don't leave me.

All those plans we had, all those things we never got to talk about, all those things I still wanted to tell you...

The future is now.

Wake up.

I love you.